New Year Quotes

Funny New Year’s Quotes And Sayings: Humorous Holiday Quotations About The Start Of The New Year

New Year’s Day, New Year’s Eve celebrations and New Year’s resolutions are the topic of many funny quotes and humorous sayings about the holiday.

A funny New Year’s saying or quote is a great addition to a photo album, scrapbook, greeting card, website or e-mail signature. Consider the following funny holiday quotes about New Year’s, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s resolutions!


“People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.” ~Unknown

“Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average, which means, you have met your New Year’s resolution.” ~Jay Leno

“Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.” ~Oscar Wilde

“Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it’s twice as onerous a duty.” ~John Selden

“The only way to spend New Year’s Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears.” ~W.H. Auden

“New Year’s Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.” ~Mark Twain

“Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.” ~Unknown

“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.” ~Bill Vaughn

“New Year’s Eve: Where auld acquaintance be forgot…Unless, of course, those tests come back positive!” ~Jay Leno

“The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul.” ~G.K. Chesterton

“It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets.” ~William Thomas

“Ever new year is the direct descendant, isn’t it, of a long line of proven criminals?” ~Ogden Nash

“New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.” ~James Agate

“I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.” ~Anais Nin

“Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.” ~Bill Vaughn

“A dog’s New Year’s Resolution: I will not chase that stick unless I actually see it leave his hand!” ~Unknown

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